Thanks. Yes, I see that too. I live with my parents as it's very common here for kids to stay home as they go to college, so it's not like I'm absent. And we do many things together because of this. We used to go to garden shops together, for example. That's why I know her complaint is absolutely unfair.

She knows that too: once my sister asked her to go to the movies together and she thought my sister's friends were coming along, so she declined. Actually I face this complaint more towards a "family" thing involving my father or as a complaint directed to him that rebounds on us idk why. As I said, everything is about him... and he cares for her a lot, but their relationship is very damaged. To tell you the truth, I think he is VERY tolerant, I don't know if I would take it. I really can't blame him.

Once I lashed at her and asked why didn't she leave if he makes her feel so bad and she took as a personal offense, as if I was pointing another mistake she has done in life. She feels shamed and humilliated by us, our daughters and never lows her guard. Other days she's ok, but her life is more about expecting others to validate her than doing something for herself, and when my father doesn't give her the validation she needs, it goes downhill.

Both me and my sister worry a lot about this. We'll leave home in a few years and I fear she'll hate me if I support my father to get a place of his own after we leave, although I think they need this space and she needs to grow back a life too...