View Single Post
 
Old Nov 16, 2015, 12:46 PM
DBTDiva's Avatar
DBTDiva DBTDiva is offline
Veteran Member
 
Member Since: Oct 2015
Location: USA South
Posts: 507
Quote:
Originally Posted by Long-distancelost View Post
I have been dating a man I love. Unfortunately we are both very busy and live 6 hours from one another. This has created lots of problems between us. At one point I thought I wanted to marry him but the distance has created issues in our relationship to the point of me thinking of breaking up with him every day.

How do you survive a long distance relationship when in the near future I maybe excepted to a grad school many more miles away? I feel like our relationship is crumbling in accelerated speed and I am just an observer and can't do anything about it.

Thanks for your thoughts.
I have been in several LDRs, one after I swore never to do an LDR again. It really depends on what you and he are looking for in a relationship. Time together in person is more important to some than others. Is he willing to move to be with you when you go to grad school? It seems like that would be a good fresh start for both of you in a new place. Unfortunately LDRs put a lot of pressure on the relationship that isn't there for others, like do you move in together when you've never even lived in the same city? In my experience you can't really know what it's like to be with that person because in an LDR one of you is always visiting. It's hard to know what that would look like when you have a house 20 minutes down the road and a job you're going to at 8am the next day vs when you're pretty much on vacation visiting them.

If being together in person is important to you, figure out why it's not happening or can't happen in this relationship. Job, school, family, etc? Those things probably aren't going to resolve themselves, so one of you will have to sacrifice. It takes a lot more than love to make a relationship work, unfortunately If the relationship isn't meeting your needs and you think that isn't going to change anytime soon then maybe it's time to move on?
__________________
Borderline PD/Major Depression/Anxiety

Living well in recovery from mental illness is possible!