but I can't take this anymore! I sit and i cry and cry and can't stop and it takes all of my energy not to hurt myself. I feel like curling up in a ball and hiding in m room forever. I don't have the energy to eat or even get up. Friends? pfft they are long gone. I scared them off real good. Family? ... well they were never there to begin with.

I feel so alone and yet i'm too scared to reach out. Too scared of rejection. Too scared of everything. I know that i'm not in a healthy state of mine right now, and this isn't a suicidal post by any means, but honestly, that seems like the best option out there.

Who knows. I just know i can't go on living like this for much longer. I'm a sad sad human being.