Thanks Rcat, nice suggestion.
i did get to not eat until i got home (about 3 hrs after the post), then binged

i see my T 3-4 times a year after 7 years of weekly sessions. my reaction doesnt feel unhealthy to me, even though i dont like it, but maybe it is, i dont know.... i just wish i could see him more often.... especially now since i feel im losing control over just about anything.

now im beating myself up for this stupid thread. i thought it was a good idea but maybe its not. i guess i just needed some kind of proof that what is going on inside of me daily is real. not sure anymore this can help or not.

i dont want to get up and go to work tomorrow. i already see myself drinking before going or while there..... i guess its just too much stress. i was feeling better this morning after a weekend of resting. just thoughts....