Thanks DBTDiva,
your words are really comforting.

i like writing. i think its the only healthy thing (except being with my cats) that really helps me. so thats why i thought about starting a thread like this...

now im afraid this too will become unhleathy seen how much i've been writing these days....

im not looking for attention even though knowing someone cares helps. and i dont even want to get obsessed about writing here instead of living my life.... its like i dont have balance. i feel bad, ashamed and guilty for all these posts i've written these days.... im sorry, i wouldnt want to write this much but it helps.... is this wrong and unhealthy too?

now i'll just go to sleep, trying not to OD on meds and trying to survive tomorrow...

ps. need to add like in the other post, just to be thorough.... for myself mostly: I know i have posted a lot these days but i really was confused, scared, torn and disperate and lonely. I hope its not too much... Im just trying to feel i exist, my pain exists and trying to survive without going crazy... because i feel CRAZY, or getting there...