Man I feel you

Idk if BP is "made up," but I can't tell if I've been misdiagnosed or not at this point -- I've been seeing shrinks since I was 5 years old.

My most recent PDoc saw me 2 months ago, wanted to put me on anti-depressants and ****. I told him I didn't want that because I was worried they'd trigger mania and that I was uncomfortable with the side effects.

At the end of the session I told him that I'd been feeling suicidal lately, and he was just like "But do you have a plan?"

And I was like "Not specifically."

So over the past couple of weeks I've been developing the specific plan. "Thanks Pdoc!"

"Please prescribe me more mood-stabilizers and SSRIs and ****. I know I can never talk to you as well. I miss my old PDoc, she was cool, too bad I showed up at a session drunk and got IP and can't see her anymore, :/ blah."

Sorry, a lot on my mind too, but I feel like I relate to you. I've been med free for about 6 weeks now. I don't trust doctors and I hate being IP (Edit: IP sucks in general, but especially now that I actually have job responsibilities and people depending on me, I CAN'T waste a week and half of my life chilling in the looney bin again)