I'm feeling better for now... like maybe I can be strong through this, maybe I won't have to turn to the hospital again to make it through(well, besides partial, but it's not the same), maybe this can be ok. I'm still not thinking it entirely through, I won't until I'm at partial tomorrow, but I'm seeing some good. At the same time, I can feel the nagging crushed feeling I don't know if I can handle... I have to process this like a loss, it is to me, and I just have to wait until tomorrow to see how well I handle it. I have to admit I'm doing well so far, I guess.