I spend a lot of time staring at the wall when I am very depressed. During that 30 hours I spent in the er this summer I spent long chunks of it staring at the wall. I think they thought I slept a lot. I did not. I just stared and it was better to stare at the inside wall than the nurses' station and the people who were watching me.

For me feeling like that is a marker that I need to get meds adjusted soon and my therapist needs to know. If I get to that point I'm about to cross the line into danger.

Right now I'm falling asleep the second I even slouch so I've not reach wall-staring yet. But it will come if my increased AD doesn't help.

I think I told you that I had a pretty extreme reaction to regular doses of gabapentin (emails reading "jadsfpoiasdjasd" and one sent to my pdoc that was ABOUT my pdoc but supposed to go to a friend). But it made me stare at walls and that's about all I did on it. You're functioning so obviously it's not that bad but maybe it is dulling things a little too much?