Don't hit the vein, that was a good advice, I followed it.

I cut like 20 today, it's like the same thing at work yesterday and the before that, I was on the phone and my old dumb phone got disconnected. It got rebooted on its own and I connected it to a charger just in case, while I was waiting for it to boot up again, I was cutting. Once I started which I didn't want to do, it wasn't matter of how deep it gets, I felt no pain, it wasn't a surprise, I was mesmerized by the beauty of the color of my fresh blood, I still think this is gonna happen again soon. I will work on it to not do it eventually, for now, it became a habit, been doing it almost for a week without a reason to stop, I just wanna manage it, like how to do it without making a mess, I don't want to have a bloody carpet or clothes, I thought of a shower room but I haven't tried that yet. It's covering a large area of my arm, it has to look right. I'm gonna keep em look fresh till I get bored.

This is a good thing. The source of the problem is sorted out, I'm shaving off my beard slowly, my cutting won't get worse, I picked a right tool. The exact same model of a cutter knife. Clean. And I disinfect the wounds with perfume!

I wonder what was really freaking me out, I still have the same head with a little heaviness there, I'm pacing along with my own thoughts. I'm still not ashamed about the scars though, I will cover it tomorrow, it might keep the same pace as before, I guess I need to think about the damage to the skin tissue. My scars healed faster, I want to believe that for some reason.

Nothing has really changed, this still could all be a dream. Ewwww.