i made a compromise with my friend of 6 months not talking. we fight alot about the fact we aren't friends, it's especially me who brings up the fights, because i feel insecure about our friendship. i can't really explain why i do it, except that i feel like i wanna reach him somehow and then burst out. we are friends since we were 13, and we ar 17 now. and i have a crush on him since that moment too, i trusted him completely. when the trust was gone, at the moment he dated my friend, everything went wrong. he thinks i do it on purpose, making the fights. but i just want to be friends like before. i already forgave him for what happend long ago, because ye, it was long ago. but i still somehow made a sort of crack in our friendship. everytime i bring it up they think im jealous. no one understands me. he isnt a person that talks alot about his feelings. he's more someone who is constantly joking, but that sometimes makes me frustated when i wanna talk about something. i think he doesnt ask me how i am doing because i was depressed before, and he literally told me "i can't do this anymore" he was always there for me, altho he's not really a person that does that easily to people. i wanted to talk to him, show him i was differnt, talk about it, but he just thinks i purposely bring it up to make a fight. i dont know if our friendship is dead and how to bring it back. we dont really have much to do or talk about since we are not in together a friendgroup anymore, and he has a different kind of life now. and sometimes i doubt i can be in it.