Wow! Your story sounds a lot like mine. I ask my wife all the time if she's the one with psych issues because you'd have to have something wrong in the head to want to stay with me. Because of all my psychological and physical issues and because of the things I've done. The important thing to remember is that they do love us, they want to stay with us, and they want to help.
Also, it's your body. It isn't defined by any doctor and none of them, especially a psychiatrist, can tell you nothing's wrong when there obviously is. If one psychiatrist gives up on you, find a new one that won't give up and wants to help you. They are there for your sake and not the other way around. Don't ever feel you are bothering the doctors. As far as the good ones, they entered this field to help those who need help. As far as the bad ones who just do it for the big paycheck, they're still getting paid.
I know what you mean about feeling like a failure. I too am on ssd and I hate that. I want to just get better and go back to work. Unfortunately, mental illness is a very real serious ailment that needs to be addressed and worked on just like a broken bone. I told my psychiatrist that I have more respect for her than I do for medical docs, who I greatly respect. Medical doctors can take an X-ray or blood sample, identify the illness, and cure it. Pretty cut and dry. But psychiatrists have to make a diagnosis based off of what the patient tells them and try different meds or combinations of meds that may work for one patient but not another. So, if one thing doesn't work, try another then another until you find something that does work for you.
These are medical conditions we have but they don't define us. We can't let them own us. Keep fighting and keep talking. There are people, out there and in here, willing to listen.