Thank you for your response too rcat! I wasn't looking for any news in particular, so no need for apologies.

Reflecting, I probably just wanted a friend when I started dating this man (new city, recently romantically rejected, only local friend started seeing someone and distanced herself, etc).

You are spot on with "obligation" for sexual relations. This view is becoming dated though, as I am recognizing I actually do have sexual needs that are not being met. You can imagine this change being a surprise to me! When they rarely do occur, our sexual relations are neither pleasing nor gratifying. But the majority of my sexual encounters have not been sensual at all so I wasn't really expecting this relationship to be any different.

Before answering your question, I first want to tell you how conflicted I felt writing these responses.
-I want to view sex as a way to share emotion and passion in a relationship. But instead I think I have been viewing it as a way for a mate to affirm his attraction toward me? That sounds terrible.

-Shared emotion and support are important to me in all relationships. In romantic relationships I think additional factors that should be shared are intimacy (physical and emotional) and growth (personal and relationship). In my current relationship I think the most sharing we experience is the sharing of space, physical objects, and meals.

-Finally, my view of a wife I guess is dated and based on the homemaker and child-rearing mentality. Which is not what I want.