It's ok to be the type of person who lets others pursue them. However, your responsibility in playing this role is to actively CHOOSE your partner and it seems as if this part is missing, perhaps you just continued on because things were great on his part and you aren't accustomed to voicing your thoughts/opinions.

I can see why he feels blindsided. It sounds like he had chemistry for you (because let's face it, most guys won't stick it out with a woman they only see as a friend and have no chemistry with from the beginning. Err won't stick it out in a relationship that is.

I think your best bet may be to move on. Telling him you never had any chemistry with him would probably crush him. Perhaps restate your feelings in a more gentile way?

I think if you stay in this relationship then in the future you will regret it as it will devolve into you and him living as roommates.

Chemistry doesn't really count when it's one sided. That's more along the lines of lusting after someone who only sees you as a friend.

Edited again....

Sorry I misread your post.

Ok so you have had only a few instances of chemistry in this relationship and he has had none? Yeah, you're living as friends who are masquerading as partners it seems. (To me).

Of course there are all kinds of relationships out there, but this one isn't built on romantic love. It's built on friendship type love it seems (which can admittedly go very deep).

But no romance? No spark?

You'll have to decide if you want this type of relationship.

How is the sex department? I don't understand having sex with someone when there's no spark. Is it purely mechanical?