I'm sorry, it really sucks when you have a job you hate that much. It leaves you no energy or capacity to look for something better.

You *won't* hate every job just as much. When you are somewhere toxic, it feels like that, but some jobs are really a lot worse than others, for sure. Sure, we all bring some baggage with us, but a good job is a place where the baggage we bring fits in with the culture. You know from experience that a lot can change in three years. This job sucks, but it's a lot better than where you were. The next job is going to be even better than this one.