Quote:
Originally Posted by IceCreamKid
I'll point this out and let you digest it for awhile. You say your husband has loved you like no one else, and in the same thread you say every problem is blamed on you/your condition and that your husband dirties the kitchen and living room with things anyone with common sense would know do not belong there--and on top of it, those things are preventing you from having a social life.
It seems to me if your husband was truly able to solve his own problems (his lack of a consideration of you, his filthy habits, and his mean-spirited abuse of you by blaming you for your condition) he would have done so by now, huh?
Regardless of the past, start now the way you mean to go. Get the car parts out of the kitchen and in a designated spot that guests don't have to see--the garage, the basement, a spare room, a little shed you'll purchase. If he asks why you have done this, tell him what you have said here: you want the house to be livable for both of you and to be presentable for guests. If he pulls any blustering, tell him a rational person would know that car parts don't belong in the kitchen or living room.
Stop taking the blame he is dishing out. Once you do that, it will reveal your next course of action.
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I think I have misrepresented my husband here. He does not blame me for everything, does not put me down in any way, and refuses to help me put myself down. There are just certain things that drive me crazy. The house has been a big issue over the years. We bought an old house that needed a lot of work, but sometimes I wish he had left it the way it was. He did things that needed doing like the wiring. We also put in a furnace since there wasn't one in the house. He painted the house and has done a lot of other things. However, a lot of things have been torn apart and never put back together, or just never finished such as an addition that was put on the house years ago. All these years we really needed that space, but it is still sitting there piled with lumber and a million other things. Now the boys are moved out or moving out, and I wish I had the money back. My husband doesn't see this as any big deal and figures he's got the rest of his life to get it done.
My husband had a lot of his own stuff, and then a few years ago when his Dad died we ended up with a ton of stuff from his place. All of this stuff is trying to fit in our small house. Now we've got stuff coming from my parent's house as well.
There are some things that are not right, but he has the stronger personality, and there are battles I can't win.