Gosh, I'm sorry to hear this.

I knew at 5 or 6 something was wrong with me and lived my live with depression and anxiety unmanaged.

I am so happy to hear though that you have some mental health supports in place (how understanding of your therapist to allow you to sit in her office).

Have you considered that your boyfriend might actually welcome hearing about your anxiety and issues? Have you discussed with him what you would like support to 'look like'. Is he able to recognise when you are in a moment of crisis? (I actually had a code word I gave to my boyfriend for if we were in public and I was having sudden anxiety).

I would continue with using your coping mechanisms of getting yourself out and about. Whatever you do don't get into the habit of isolating yourself.

Okay, about your relationship. Can I ask if the relationship is equal. Even who makes most of the plans to do things, who does most of the talking, etc. Is it equal or is it primarily one person initiating everything. I just wonder if this might be a reason you are adverse to talking about this more with him.