Almeda,

I am so sorry this happened between you and T. It is always a fear of mine that T will misinterpret something I say about my feelings in the moment, and I will feel rejected.

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T also said yesterday that his assistant needs to be careful because he jokes with everyone like that even people he doesn't know. So he was trying, I guess, to let me know that there is nothing special about me.

You're right it can't be recovered. I am very very hurt. I feel like a patient now who had no right to her own feelings about someone who was helping her so much.

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You have every right to your feelings. It sure does sound like you rocked him and he wasn't able to bite his tongue before he acted on his countertransference. But, there have been times when I have misinterpreted T's remarks, so please discuss this next session. And if you cry, screw it, he deserves to see what his careless remarks have done to you. I do hope you two can work this through, though. Rupture, repair, rupture, repair.....I think that's how it's supposed to go.

Good luck and take gentle care.