I've been telling my T that I'm not grieving (please no judgments about that) and I feel guilty for my feelings. She told me today that grieving about "not grieving" is a form of grief too. Grieving because the relationship wasn't what I needed is a form of grief too. Whatever I'm feeling is all right; all parts are welcome, she said.

I had emailed asking if the part who wanted to move in with her was welcome too, and wrote that I know that's totally fantasy. So I brought it up today and said how much progress I've made because I could recognize that
those thoughts are only a fantasy. My Self is much stronger now. Yet I wanted my T to acknowledge that I was grieving the loss of not having the intimacy in marriage that I was imagining I could have with her. It makes me sad that I didn't have it with my H and can't have it with her, obviously. She says I can have it with someone else but I don't know. Anyway, I feel better now that I talked more about my guilty feelings and know that they are acceptable, and that my grief is more complicated but it's still grief.