I am returning to my pdoc and T after one year of being away from them and all meds. i am returning because of worsening anxiety. i also have other diagnoses such as MDD - I am getting second thoughts though of keeping the appointments..mainly because I dont want to try anymore antidepressant medication - i tried so many that did not work only made my depression worse to the point of many hospitalizations. on top of that she had me on haldol which completely flattened me in every way. I would just want something to take the edge off the anxiety. the depression is ok and has been since i took myself off the drugs..somehow it has become managable on its own. The strange part about that though is when I take tests for depression it always comes up clinical depression - i just dont feel it anymore for some reason. I do have alot of anxiety though that seems to be getting worse everyday.
i feel scared of my own thoughts that pass thru my head like flashes. .intense thoughts that i have to ride out by sitting down and letting them pass. .while holding on to the arms of the chair. Anyway i dont want her to put me on anything other than medicine to stop the anxiety.
Is it ok to tell her no to other medications she tries to put me on?
The other thing is that she assigned me to a T that i just dont connect with at all.. When i saw her last it seemed she would just give me handouts to fill out at home and there wasnt much discussion ..other than how CBT worked. There was not much sharing how I was feeling or anything. So wondering if it ok to tell my pdoc that the T she sending me to doesnt help me.?
Lots of thoughts going on in my head on returning.
Sometimes i think maybe i should just cancel and go to my regular doc for meds.
Sorry for rambling .. just anxious about everything i guess.