Hi all,

I just wanted to make an introduction. I'm 46, been on Zoloft for about 6 years. I tried to ween myself off it recently, without success. I made it for about 4-6 weeks then had a melt down. I'm am now back on it, self-medicating because I don't have any health insurance (I get my Zoloft in Mexico).

I am clearly better on Zoloft that without it, but on it, I am like a zombie. I don't really have any emotions. The best way to describe how I feel is that I feel I can see through the BS of life, its one big illusion that doesn't really mean anything in the big picture. Almost like I was able to pull away the curtain and expose the illusion.

The wonderment of life is gone. I have lost patience for rude people. I'm disappointed with my professional life and didn't have the level of financial success I had always hoped for. I feel like every day is battle to get through and there isn't much I look forward to. I seldom laugh, something I used to do often. My depression is even able to overpower the effects of alcohol. In other words, my depression is so deep-seated that alcohol doesn't even affect it. There was a time when a couple drinks would make me feel like I was on top of the world. I could drink a fifth of anything and still be "in touch" with reality. (I may not be able to walk, mind you, but mentally I'm still in "that place").

So, thats my introduction. I've read many of your replies to others, and they're all pretty much "hang in there" types of replies. If all it took were a few words typed by a stranger, I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.