Yeah it's rough. Last holiday season about this time she demanded to meet with me when she came into town to drop the kids off because she felt she had a right to meet someone her kids were going to be spending time around. I agreed that it was reasonable and to meet with her at a local coffee shop with the understanding that I would get up and walk out if she started bad mouthing me or my boyfriend (prior to this she had started calling him and starting fights when she saw on facebook that we were together. She's been blocked from both our accounts pretty much since then. Although she briefly used the 15 year old's account to cyberstalk me.) Anyhoo, she was ten minutes late and in horrible timing, my mother called and my father had a seizure, which is an ongoing health issue that started almost a decade ago, and she was hysterical and wanted me to come to their home. As I was walking out, ex-wife walked in and started being really sarcastic "yeah, yeah I know I'm late."
I apologized and said I had a family emergency and we would need to reschedule.
She said "Way to sell yourself with me!" extremely snidely and I replied "I'm not trying to sell myself with you or anyone else. I have a family emergency and need to leave."

That was the time she showed up screaming outside bf's apartment and scared her son's girlfriend. She claimed I told her I wouldn't be kept waiting and just drove off. My bf called me like "wtf?" and I had just gotten to my parents and said my dad had a seizure and mom was hysterical. The ex claimed I never said that. I did end up meeting with her later that night and it was fine and civil. Mostly her hating me doesn't have anything to do with me but she's extremely bothered by me not pretending to like her. I am polite and say "hello" and "drive safe" but I don't engage in conversation beyond that because I'm not one to be fake. She is, and it drives her nuts. Even with literally only saying "hello" and "drive safe" to her, she still says I said things I never said. I really don't know if it's her making up stories or if she really has no grasp on reality. I don't want or need her to like me, I just want her to stop hurting her kids and my bf, all of whom I love very much.