I agree that each of us has a right to take care of oneself. It's hard, though. I am always concerned that I don't know how to maintain my boundaries in a way that respects me and respects the other.

One technique I've learned is to use "I" statements that take responsibility for my freelings. "I feel hurt when all you do is complain about my faults. I'm going to have to ask you to take responsibility for your feelings by telling me how you feel because of something very specific that harmed me."

I've got friends without disabilities who dump on me, and my T says I need to work on this. So did my last T. The evidence is building, eh?

Good luck with this, Candybear.