So, I am beginning to think my relationships are based on a foundation of intimacy. And I feel like a monster. When I am intimate in a relationship and my partner and I have a healthy physical lifestyle, we are great. We get along. I am happy. He is happy. There are no fights. There are no arguments.

I had a great 3 year relationship with a man, no issues with mis-matched libidos, but year 4 he started to have trouble with ED and, as AWFUL as this sounds, the relationship spiraled down in a mere 6 months and ended in divorce. Of course, at the TIME I was not aware of how much a lack of intimacy changed my mood. I just know that we fought all the time, I was unhappy, I was unsatisfied, and we weren't a team anymore.

Fast forward to now. I have been with a man for nearly 2 years. During the first 6 months, our physical relationship was phenomenal. Then we moved in together. And, it began to fizzle out. Today, it is nonexistent. I am keyed up, frustrated, and beyond confused. For about the first 6 months of the trouble, I did not mention it and thought "Maybe its stress, maybe he is tired, maybe he doesn't feel well." I never complained, never pushed him, and when he would reject me, I didn't take it personally. Then, I started to become more open about my desires. I started to express my needs. He basically blew me off.

Its gotten to the point that I even mentioned us having an open relationship. I love this man, but I need to make love with my partner. I have had several men tell me that I am too driven. That my libido is too high. Its not like I banging down their door on an hourly basis. But, I do expect to be physical at least 2-3 times a week. Is that too much?! Naturally, I am not feeling very attractive or desirable. It is really messing with my ego.

When I am single, I don't have these problems. But, when I am with a man, I really value and cherish the physical part of a relationship. It is natural and healthy. I hear men complaining all the time about women being the ones to shut it down, but I am finding it can go both ways!

Please help! Tell me I'm not a monster!!! Are my expectations too high? Or, am I just finding (time after time) that my partners are not right for me? I hate to trivialize a relationship down to this, but it is a VERY important part of a partnership to me and it took me years to be comfortable enough to admit that.