I have 2 kids, 5 years old and 6 months and I babysit my 1 year old neice. I occasionally lose my temper with the younger ones and yell but my 5 year old always drives me crazy. I know her behavior is just noral kid behavior and I try to take deep breaths but I find myself yelling all the time. Even while I am yelling, I am thinking to just calm down but it feels impossible. after awhile I feel calmed and then boom, I see her doing something she shouldn't and I explode again.
Why am I so angry? I feel like a monster and a horrible mother. On really bad days after I put her to bed I just cry.