I have hardly gotten off of the couch today...only for absolute necessity. While I've had plenty of days, seasons, of this in my life, I feel so disappointed about it today. My therapist challenged me to do 15 minutes a day of something I needed to do and 15 minutes a day of something I wanted to do. Day 1 and I didn't even do it. I felt like I couldn't. I feel like I can't do anything. Yesterday I felt so motivated; today I feel like I want to die. I just don't understand. Does anyone else understand and want to explain it to me? I feel like a dying slug.
__________________
*****
Every finger in the room is pointing at me
I want to spit in their faces then I get afraid of what that could bring
I got a bowling ball in my stomach I got a desert in my mouth
Figures that my courage would choose to sell out now
Tori Amos ~ Crucify
Dx: Schizoaffective Disorder
|