My boyfriend and I have been dating for 11 months now.

Things were fine considering it was a long distance bilingual realtionship. His job requires him to be away from home 5 days a week and I love my alone time so things there are great.

The first 5 months of our relationship was what movies were made out of, and then I got raped. It really sucked but I dealt with it better then my boyfriend. I know I was a victim, and I talked it out. There was nothing I could have changed or done differently because that is what happens when a friends drugs you at a bar. It really sucks, but I am not lingering there. I am more worried about my boyfriend.

He was extremely angry all the time. When we would drink on the weekends he would go too far and would start saying things like how he wants to find this [insert any colourful language you want] and to kill him, or murder him, and sometimes he would go into great details on this. I told him that it was natural to feel this way, but he needs to let the anger go.

He got so paranoid one night when I was hanging out with his friend that he started telling me how no man is safe, and lost it. I clued in that maybe my rape had affected him greater than I could have thought. He scared me one night, so badly that during the verbal argument I found myself backing away from him and into the closet. He realized how scared I was and backed off, hands where I could see them, and backing away. He didn't try and touch me during or after the fight and waited for me to come to him. Since then we took a week off of work and had some tough conversations.

Now after that, our sex life has changed. He keeps loosing his erection, will often over exert himself until I am bored and he is all sweaty(which is a major turn off for me). We went from twice daily to maybe once every two or three days. I know it isn't my fault and it is all in his head, but I don't know what to do to help him further. He doesn't think I have noticed this, and I am not sure what to do or say to talk about this.

Is there an appropriate way to talk to him about this?