You know, I read this and just thought that this is fairly normal. Not just for bipolar, but fairly normal. I know I had times I had PMS that I was not able to do anything because I just didn't feel like it. And I know that's true for other women who do not have bipolar. Before my hysterectomy I remember thinking "this is the last time I will ever have to deal with PMS". Some people think menopause is as bad or worse but emotionally it never affected me.

Feeling like you want to die is of course not so normal but feeling like you just can't do anything is completely normal.Feeling bad because you can't do what your therapist asked is understandable but you've got lots of days to do it. As my therapist made me memorize when I first knew him "do what you can do as you can do it". and really that's all we can do it in life.

I do think you need to give your pdoc a swift kick. Hard. He isn't listening to you, he isn't helping you, and he has dramatically delayed starting a med that is supposed to change your life (while ignoring the interaction and recommended starting guidelines). Kind of ridiculous....

Hope this evening feels a bit better.