Forgive me if this is the wrong place or whatever, but I haven't been here in a long time and I'm not very good at organizing my thoughts... Right now I think I'm feeling shame, fear and possibly paranoia...? I don't know if that last one counts as an emotion and I'm guessing that it doesn't. I recently began attempting to make a symptoms list of my more problematic behaviours, but even looking back over it to see what I've already added makes me want to burn it and pretend like nothing ever happened. So far it's intended for my eyes only, but even my acknowledgement seems like it's just too much... I'm already enough of a freak as it is, I don't even want to know about it and no one else needs to. But all I can think about is what someone (Especially shrinks) would think of me if they saw it... Being chased with pitchforks, treated like a leper, locked away or doped off my face on meds are less than ideal situations. Ugh, my both my brain is a mess right now... I'm not entirely sure where I'm going with this.