I'm so sorry that you're going through all these frustrating, demoralizing, upsetting feelings. I know, all too well, that feeling of, "Seriously? This is my life? This is as "good as it's gotten?"

Glad you found PC. It's a supportive place to share filled with many caring, sensitive, and kind people. Throw in dark chocolate with sea salt and you'd NEVER get me off here.

Have you thought about therapy? Maybe just for yourself to start and then, perhaps, counseling for you and your wife?

It's important that you BOTH have the ability to feel safe in sharing your cares and woes with each other (and hopefully, your joys!). Maybe your wife's insurance would cover the cost?

I'm sorry your business isn't going as well as you'd like.