Hello, BlueEyez87,
I really don't know how to help; I would like to.
While I was writing this I saw your next post.
I now am at a complete lack of words.
I'm glad you are going to look around for help.

I get real triggered by some posts and threads, and instantly lose it. With me though it's if I ask for help or if I tried to help someone else and they got triggered.
I wish you well in your search. Meg.