I observe this happening often. People get very angry about children not acting the way they "should" but often times no one has taught the child what to do or not to do in some of these situations. Everything a child knows is either taught to them outright or covertly. We are not born knowing right and wrong, we are not born knowing the "right" way to behave. I think we also expect young children to associate behaviors in ways they aren't capable of - for example if you told the five year old not to jump on the bed it is not going to be obvious to a five year old that is a blanket statement that means "don't jump on any furniture." So the adult reacts when the kid jumps on the couch thinking he or she is breaking a known rule when really they just don't have the ability to think and reason in the same way adults do. The problem with blaming children for not knowing how to act is that we don't remember learning these things so we forget they were taught to us.

I think that not taking it personally is important! My mom took/takes everything personally. Her world revolves around her, she thinks everyone else's does too. Everything is always about her. My mom thought I was evil practically! At 5, whatever she is doing is about being a kid, learning, curiosity, etc and never, I'm guessing, just to give you a hard time.