Quote:
Originally Posted by smartiesparty
The problem is that I also have obsessive thoughts ... I feel like everyone wants to kill me and harm me and recently it seems like I just can't trust men
I've known my boyfriend for such a long time and suddenly my brain is telling me "he only wants to harm you and kill you" over and over. I've been crying the whole day because I am so disgusted, it keeps me from doing my activities. I'm scared to be killed by a person I love. He is not even violent, he is the sweetest guy. But deep inside I'm telling myself "he's only hiding his game" ! that's also what disgusts me. I am really going crazy...i'm sorry for my confusing words.
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Was there something that happened in the past that made you distrust men or is this just based on violence in the world? Once I got upset and stopped wanting to have sex with my then-husband because I was reading a book of essays by sex workers and the treatment they described from me was so horrible, I started to feel like all men were rapists and abusers in disguise. This did not affect my marriage very positively, as you can imagine.
If it's related to something in the past, then maybe you need to work through those feelings. If it's not, write down any "red flags" you have seen that might indicate violent behavior from him. If there aren't any, remind yourself of that every time you start to get frightened. Remind yourself that the vast majority of people - men and women, are not violent. Find something else specific that you can do when you start to obsess. Give yourself something to replace the thought with or an activity, a book to read, show to watch, song to sing, anything that will distract your mind.