Hi coldtothetouch, I see you are a fairly new member so welcome to PC, welcome to the PTSD forum.

I am sorry to hear you are stuck living with an individual that is abusive towards you. It is very challenging when a person stuggling with PTSD is exposed to a toxic individual that can trigger them. I have some of that going on myself, have come across others challenged that way as well. Yeah, it is hard.

If you cannot physically move away, what you will need to do is find ways to avoid this individual while you make a plan to get away from the person. People always have schedules, learn their schedules and do your best to not be around the individual when they are home or as much as possible. Your step father is a bully, he is bullying you and that is only aggrivating your PTSD symptoms. Self care is the most important for you, and what you need to do is stay away from this individual as much as you can to reduce your exposure to his bully tactics.

People who bully others around are unhealthy people, they bully because they themselves are broken in someway or during their own childhood were either badly neglected or abused, or both and they learned this bullying as a way to get their own needs met and to intimidate others. Often it is the oldest child that learns they can bully their siblings to get their way, that is what I am dealing with.

Now, because you have PTSD, you are very sensitive so the fight/flight/freeze, that is normal to all human beings, in you is more sensitive. When this individual came into your life you did not have enough understanding of how to fight back or protect yourself, that is the kind of target abusive bullies go for, NOT YOUR FAULT.

So the best way to handle that is to find ways you can reduce your exposure to this individual, stay at friend's homes, go to the library, look for things that can get you out of the house when this individual is home. If you are around this person, do not try to pick a fight, all that does is give the bully permission to abuse. Bullies are easier to handle when you are nice to them, even though they are wrong etc., and you would like to let them know it, it's not worth it because a long time bully gets pretty good at bullying, they learn it works, gets them attention and control.

It's unfortunate because often women marry a bully thinking they are strong and will be protective and productive. The problem is they are TOXIC and DYSFUNCTIONAL which is exactly what you have experienced from this individual. You are just at a point right now where you now have a victim mentality, "not your fault", and what you will eventually need help with is how to better handle bullies, to recognize the signs of anyone who is one and make it a point to not include them in your life as they have no benefit for you.