I'm feeling very sad today. I know it sounds dumb- I lost her on May 5, 2014 and I'm still hurting over it, but that is just how it is. I'm only 29. I lost her at 28. I loved her more than I loved anyone else. I gave up friends and a life just to help her. And she died on me. My support network has been really lousy. I was living in Illinois when she passed. I had no friends or close family there. When she died, I was completely alone and nobody would give me the time of day. I thought I had friends overseas. Before she died, I had been living abroad. I had good friends and a good church where I was. They invited me out, checked in on me regularly, visited me randomly. I had a boyfriend whom I thought had loved me. And then I left all of that to take care of my mom. Well, 5 months after arriving, she died on me and I had the "pleasure" of watching her die. And nobody was there for me- not a soul. And my overseas friends, while they still kept in touch before she died, suddenly drifted away from me. I still spoke with my boyfriend and he kept telling me I needed to come back. It took me 18 months, but I finally did. And my support network is still lacking. He and I are engaged now. I feel like it was a mistake leaving the States. Not only do I still not have friends and people don't want to give me the time of day, but my job is very stressful here and there is little hope of finding another one since the unemployment rate is so high. My fiancé hasn't been all that supportive of me- yesterday I came home from work crying and he couldn't even try to comfort me. He told me he would take me out but he complained about it while he was getting ready, and when I got in the car and continued to cry, he said, "why can't you just be more normal and be happy?" I'm very unhappy here and would like to leave. I made a mistake coming out here. I just don't really have a home to go to.