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Old Nov 20, 2015, 05:32 AM
pjcjr77 pjcjr77 is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2015
Location: Maine
Posts: 80
Quote:
Originally Posted by bbTofu View Post
When I'm on the depressive polar it seems as though I somewhat block and prevent anything that seems like an exit from this cycle, it seems like I suddenly feel better and have some energy flow, then I cut it off thinking 'nah it's impossible.. I wanted to die this morning.. I should be coming back to my comfort zone of darkness' - and then the energy shuts down and I get back to feeling helpless n stuff.

So, how much is in our 'mind' ? it seems like I don't let myself "out" of this depression.
I don't know.. I'm about to discuss taking medications tomorrow with my therapist, maybe I don't need to.. I'm confused to hell.
At least for me, depression almost turns into a place of comfort. It's such a normal familiar feeling. Its the weirdest part of being on Lamictal for me, as is kind of strips away the very low times. I'll fall but not as far. I think at times its sort of distressing to my brain. Obviously, its a good thing to not fall so quickly, so fast and so deeply.

I'm probably just weird.

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Mental:

Bipolar 2, maybe ADD
Lamictal 400mg, Adderal XR 30mg

Non-mental:

Had severe pulmonary embolisms
Warfarin, most likely for the rest of my life