I attended the 12 step CODA meetings for a while years ago, and found that thought we talked about dysfunctional relationships, most of the focus was on ME, ME, ME! Some of the leading members kept emphasizing this...take care of yourself first! In the end, I kind of determined that "codependence" is a bit of a myth. I mean...for sure, if you are in a healthy loving relationship, are yoiu always thinking of yourself first?
Patty