I sometimes ask myself why I'm still here. Everything has gone downhill in every part of my life. My mental and physical health, my desire to do anything, my hopes and dreams, my family situation, have all gone downhill and haven't come back up. I barely even have the mental energy to write this thread. I honestly just want to lie down and do nothing. My depression/ocd/ social anxiety and body dysmorphia is affecting every part of my life and I've suffered for so long that I feel like I've gone too far to change, my parents say if I don't do anything that nothing will change, well no s***. That's the problem in the first place, I want to change but I don't want to at the same time because it's really hard, seems next to impossible sometimes. Everything, even small tasks, require large amounts of mental and physical effort and I have hardly any energy, even though I sleep fine every night. It affects every part of my life. My physical health, social life, sleep, energy levels, ability to assert myself, ability to do a good job at work, my ability to remember things and go to school, my ability to achieve my goals, my ability to attract a woman and have a relationship, and my overall happiness and satisfaction in life. I'm 20 years old and I already feel like my life is over, I have no one in my life, my family doesn't care about me anymore, I have no friends, never had a girlfriend, sex, first kiss, held hands, anything, I'm a pathetic virgin loser who is too scared to talk to anyone and get rejected, so I'm in like the .01 percentile at this point, I suck at every job I've had, which is like 7, and I can't be assertive or know what other people want, which has gotten me in trouble multiple times, and im just ready to throw in the towel and quit, it's too hard and it takes too much time, motivation, and painful, uncomfortable feelings and thoughts to get through it.