I wish I could lucid dream because then I'd tell him to "get the **** out of here."

He never seems like a better dad in my dreams. He just seems like the same guy at his least obnoxious. It doesn't make me like him any better. His presence mostly just makes me not myself - I could never be myself around him or ever say what I thought because it would start an argument. We have nothing in common. He has strong opinions on everything (even things he has no experience with) and he has to be right about everything otherwise he would literally disown me.

It's not as simple as "Just don't talk about politics." He will say things like "Black people are genetically inferior to white people and therefore can't learn anything." or "Women shouldn't be allowed to vote." or "Every woman who HAS to work and can't stay home with the kids has failed as a wife and a mother."

So when I see him in my dreams, I'm suppressing myself. I'm filtering and subjugating my needs. And I'm a little afraid of him because I never confront him. I just do what I always did, which is just carefully walk egg shells and count the minutes until I'm away from him.

I really will try to set boundaries in my dreams, if I can break through at all I'll tell him "You don't belong here. Get out."