Drummergrl,
While I don't have outbursts often...I do get so angry sometimes that I can feel the anger pulsing through my viens.... I have my own monster (bipolar) and you have yours...they are quite the same however, everyone experiences a different version of bipolar.
Is there any way you could talk with your therapist about your anger and see if you can find the coping tools so you will not hurt anyone.
BTW...just because you were young doesn't make you a bad mother....you love your children and grandchildren and I am certain they also have the same feelings for you.

I really hope your day turns around really soon. I know how hard it is togo through those days....But be strong...it is bound to turn around.
Sorry bout the