Hey Pinksoil

I am sending you love and hugs. It is so beautiful that T stayed with you in that moment. Hold onto the feeling you had at that time. And when you lose the feeling like I know you do, just re-read your post!

It's also precious that you could take joy in playing with your birds the next morning. Sometimes taking just the present to observe and feel the wonder in our pets is so healing. I do it with my dog, Suzy, when I can, without letting my mind wander elsewhere.

You are working so hard at healing and I just know you will choose whichever avenue is best for you. Maybe the hospital isn't such a bad idea because you can be safe while you try out the different meds. You have had a hard time with finding the right combination, that it doesn't seem quite fair. Your body is so sensitive and a protected environment might be a better venue while you try to become accustomed to them...anyway, we are all here for you whenever you need.