This isn't uncommon. Our dreams help us process our pain. It's part of healing.

I went NC with my parents 13 years ago. For years I had similar dreams. They would boss me around, and I'd react the way I did in real life, i.e., by doing whatever they wanted to keep them quiet.

As I started working on deeper issues from the abuse, I started fighting back in my dreams. I'd scream at them, fight with them, and even sometimes throw things at them. Sometimes I'd wake up physically exhausted from the effort!

Now, 13 years later, I still often dream of my parents, but it's hardly ever a situation where I'm letting them boss me around or fighting their intrusion. Instead, they're just characters in the dream, like strangers are.

Personally, I think my parents often reflect abusive parts within me, sort of the parts of me that still feel like I need to obey them, even though they're not a part of my life anymore. So working through those feelings and living more authentically changes how they appear in my dreams.

Lucid dreaming, incidentally, may not be of help. Just because you can consciously tell your father to go away in a lucid dream doesn't mean he will. Lucid dreaming can only support healing; it's not a magic cure.

I'm sorry that his appearance in your dreams gets to you, but honestly, it's a natural part of the healing process. Like nightmares, the sitatution will get better as you heal. I doubt our abusers can ever completely disappear from our dreams, but they can appear as regular dream characters without the emotional baggage of the abuse.