I used to keep everything to myself but now I am a babbling fool. I say too much now. I've told too many people about my struggles since coming out of denial with myself about my illness. I wish I could turn back time and put it back in the bag. People are offering way too much advise that I don't want or that is so off base that it starts to pull me back into denial again. "It's just mind over matter. It's just demons possessing you.... It's just poor diet and lack of exercise..... it's just.... it's just.... now shape up and get a job."

I thought opening up and telling people would help me accept the diagnosis and be accountable to my lifestyle changes. Instead I find myself defending the dx to others and wresting in my head again about what the truth really is and suffering the self-loathing that natually accompanies such thinking.