Do you have anything concrete to hold on to? An email? A transitional object? My memory rarely remembers positive things. That or the doubts start slipping in w/o constant reassurance. Ever since I revealed my secret to my T, I ask for reassurance weekly. I'm always afraid she'll change her mind. So every week, she assures me that nothing has changed btwn us. The emails she writes me reinforces her her support and our connection.

Can you ask your T for anything like that?

Another example, I had a college counselor I was very closed to. She always called me "trouble". She always had a basket of glass-like rocks (most people use them in fish tanks or flower arrangements). Anyways, she gave one to me. She called it a warm fuzzy. She explained that whenever I'm in a difficult situation and need her, I should rub my fingers and hands with the rock. After awhile the stone will be come warm. That warmth is from all the warm fuzzy feelings I have with her. So basically, I always had a part of her still with me. The last time I saw her was 10 years ago... and I still have the 3 rocks she gave to me.