Had a therapy session the other day and we talked about an experience that happened when I was fourteen. I had a eight or nine year old cousin at the time over and my mom was upstairs taking a shower when my cousin began to try to encourage me to let him do stuff to me.I told him no but he began to kiss my face and my chest and though. That's. As far as it went I didn't know what to do after I felt. Like it would cause trouble in the family and so I said nothing but my cousin did and my parents came back to me and talked to me the ending result I cried in the bathroom the ending result being nothing came of it cause I was older my mom today blames me she says I should have done more to stop it but I just thought when you told someone no it means no she also feels I'll be taken advantage of again if I don't learn to say no I don't feel the same as bad as it was my cousin was and will be the only guy who will ever touch my hideous self I'm not worthy of love.and there's a lot more I can't have children cause I feel I may hurt them as a result of this event.and something I did at sixteen haunts me and I did not share any of this with my therapist and my family doesn't know I don't want them to disown me for any of this

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