If you have agreed to divorce than maybe you need to work on a hard timeline of when the actual physical separation will happen. There is a blurring of boundaries because the relationship is in transition (or one could say, transitional termination). It's not healthy for all concerned. Divorce is hard because there are always a lot of emotions and they aren't always all negative. But it you continue with the snooping and the blurred boundaries around intimacy it's not protecting your well-being and mental health. And you will need both...going into your future.