I am sorry you were blamed. That was wrong. You are not hideous or bad. I hope you will share this with your therapist he/she has the skills to help you see you were not at fault. Don't let this ruin the rest of your life. Everyone CHOOSES their behavior and your cousin CHOSE to do that. Even if you had told him to stop, do you think he would have? NO. HE made you feel unworthy of love. EVERone is worthy of love and respect. Take your power back and put the blame and shame where it belongs....not on yourself, but on the person that CHOSE to touch you/molest you. Don't let this incident define who you are. YOU get to do that. You might want to write a letter of "restorative justice" restorative justice says....this is what you did, this is how it made me feel. The letter is for yourself; you can send it or not.