For as long as I can remember I've had pervasive dreams of my partner leaving or abusing me.

His nickname is Inu, which is a special name only I can call him, but this phenomenon has become so familiar we created a different name for the Inu who appears in my dreams.

We call him douchebag Inu.

Last night Douchebag Inu was viewing offensive family guy episodes referring to wives as "b*tches" and proceeded to brag to his friends about how he gets all the milk and never had to buy the cow. When I confronted him he was very flippant and dismissive and expressed no desire to change, instead calling me a ******.

Real Inu would never do that. He has anxiety disorder and is in counseling to combat his fear of marriage which stems from his family home where his parents suffered a very violent divorce.

My question is this: How can I help myself believe Douchebag Inu is not real? I remember my nightmares so vividly they often seem like memories.

How can I stay grounded enough to appreciate real Inu for his devotion until that time he has reached a level of comfort and is healthy enough to become my husband?

The dreams are getting worse and are starting to make me fear sleep.
Any ideas?