I'm glad you are checking in. It sounds like you have a good plan just to start over. Giving another therapist a chance to properly diagnose you. There is a lot to be said for starting a new. It's a chance to find someone who really sees and understands what's going on. Hopefully someone who can help you pull yourself out of despair. I have those dark thoughts too, as a option, but have never acted on them. The whole purpose of my therapist and psychiatrist is to keep me out of the depths of despair and somewhere on a level plain.

I certainly hope you get a good one to work with.

Keep posting.