For me, it was the opposite. When I was manic, I partied. A lot. It was a feeling of goodness that put me over the edge and alcohol and drugs were the way I could enhance the mania and enjoy the moment. It really didn't have anything to do with self pity, self abuse, or self medication. I was just in a great mood, carrying all the things that mania gives to us. I guess I could say mania caused me to get lost in the moment.

The downside, of course, is that I would crash on the other side. Alcohol just made the downside worse for obvious reasons - it added to the depression, anger, guilt, and paranoia that tends to accompany a typical manic crash.