This has happened in all of my relationships. As soon as I start dating someone I will have sex with them up to 3 times a day every day and I feel like I can be sexual and comfortable. (Maybe this is because of the BPD) Then the longer we date the less I start to feel comfortable having sex, although I mentally want to have sex and I am aroused but my body is repulsed by being touched.
I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and I am struggling pretty bad recently I keep trying to have sex because I love him very much but as soon as he touches me with my clothes off I shut down.
Sometimes I just have sex with him even when my body doesn't want to because I feel like I depriving him of sex, but he says for me not to have sex with him unless I'm 100% comfortable unfortunately at this point I feel like I am never comfortable.
I know I should seek out a therapist about this but I am currently in DBT and have to focus on that so I was just wondering How can I feel empowered sexually again? I just feel like there are a lot of things I would like to do in the bedroom mentally but when it comes down to doing it I shut down.